Don't Feed the Narcissists! The Mythology and Science of Mental Health Laurie Endicott Thomas 9780996881838 Books
Download As PDF : Don't Feed the Narcissists! The Mythology and Science of Mental Health Laurie Endicott Thomas 9780996881838 Books
For the past few decades, some prominent psychologists and educators have been urging us to boost children's self-esteem at all costs. In contrast, all of the world's great religious traditions warn us that pride is a sin and that humility is a virtue. In Don't Feed the Narcissists!, Laurie Endicott Thomas explains the golden mean between these two extremes the Greek philosopher Aristotle argued that one's self-esteem should be accurate. Narcissists are people who are trying to occupy a higher social rank than they can successfully defend. They want more power, property, and prestige than other people are willing to give them. As a result, narcissists often try to bully other people into submission. For that reason, narcissists can be dangerous. In fact, narcissism may be the underlying motivation in many mass shootings. Narcissists tend to be unhappy. Because they cannot relate to others as equals, their lives are empty. They often try to fill that emptiness with excitement. As a result, their lives can spin out of control. Many psychologists believe that narcissists are secretly suffering from low self-esteem. But by definition, narcissists are people with overly high self-esteem. Narcissists worship themselves and expect everyone else to worship them, too. Narcissists often seek out people who will submit to their will. These acts of submission are called narcissistic goods or narcissistic supply. If you show anything less than perfect submission, or if they are jealous of you for any reason, narcissists may feel that you are challenging them for their social rank. The discomfort they feel in this context is called narcissistic injury. The narcissist may then become aggressive, either to get people to submit or to eliminate the object of their jealousy. This aggression is called narcissistic rage. Yet this misbehavior often causes the narcissist to lose social standing. Narcissists want to be large and in charge. Yet they lack the intellectual and social skills to earn the high social rank that they so desperately desire. Their continual games of king-of-the-hill cause problems at home and at work. Psychiatrists have had little success in treating narcissism. Narcissists seldom realize that they need help, and they are unlikely to take constructive criticism from anyone, even a trained therapist. Thomas suggests a novel approach for helping narcissists offer an educational program that will help them achieve the greatness that they desire. Most of the training should be done by computers, and in private. Even narcissists like computer games. To achieve the greatness they desire, narcissists need to learn some lessons from the seven classical liberal arts, especially logic and rhetoric. They need to learn about the seven basic human emotions, as well as the seven deadly sins. They also need to learn how to read an audience, so that they can refine their act. Thomas also has some useful advice for people who are coping with narcissists, at home and at work. She explains how to write yourself out of the pointless dramas that the narcissists generate. In particular, she emphasizes the four C's You did not cause that person's narcissism. You cannot cure that person's narcissism. You cannot control that person's narcissism. But you do not have to contribute to the narcissism. Thus, the best approach is often emotional disengagement or even avoidance. Don't feed the narcissists! It's not good for you or for them!
Don't Feed the Narcissists! The Mythology and Science of Mental Health Laurie Endicott Thomas 9780996881838 Books
If you are about to begin, Don’t Feed the Narcissists!, be prepared to become engrossed in Laurie Thomas’s book that explains narcissism, the education system (and its shortcomings), how to debate, and most importantly how to not look stupid in class, your study group, or other social and academic settings. An important word of caution – bring a highlighter and be prepared to find yourself reading one sentence after another that you will want to remember for later use. Ms. Thomas takes you seamlessly between such disparate subjects as psychology, debate, Max Weber’s three P’s (Property, Prestige, Power), shame, and the philosophy of Aristotle. I enjoy her clean style of writing and her far ranging intellect. I especially enjoy the manner in which she weaves these subjects together to make her case that the narcissist has an overblown self-image that is not consistent with the level of esteem hold for the narcissist. If you are a parent of a narcissistic child/teen, or (God forbid) a codependent in a relationship with a narcissist, you should read this book. If you find yourself in a dysfunctional work environment, you will be encouraged to find the strength to not serve a bad leader, or pledge allegiance to the wrong sort of person. I hated coming to the end of the book, and I recommend it to you.Product details
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Tags : Don't Feed the Narcissists!: The Mythology and Science of Mental Health [Laurie Endicott Thomas] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. For the past few decades, some prominent psychologists and educators have been urging us to boost children's self-esteem at all costs. In contrast,Laurie Endicott Thomas,Don't Feed the Narcissists!: The Mythology and Science of Mental Health,Kermit Press,0996881832,SELF-HELP Personal Growth Self-Esteem
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Don't Feed the Narcissists! The Mythology and Science of Mental Health Laurie Endicott Thomas 9780996881838 Books Reviews
Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them. In contrast, narcissists merely THINK that they are great. Narcissists are people with an unrealistically high self-esteem. They think that they are special people who deserve special privileges. Yet they don't know how to earn those special privileges, because their intellectual and social skills are poor. When their high expectations are not met, they can become cranky or even violent. In this book, Thomas explains how to achieve greatness, and how to deal with people who are legends in their own minds. She explains the seven basic human emotions, the seven deadly sins, and the seven classical liberal arts. These are generally the lessons that narcissists have failed to learn. These lessons can help you spot narcissists, so that you can carefully steer around them. Narcissists want to play pointless games of King of the Hill, but the only game you should play with them is Keep Away!
This is a great book! Who knew that the ability to detect narcissism is such an important life skill? Sociopaths view you as an object. Narcissists view you as an underling. This book argues that you would actually be better off working for a sociopath than for a narcissist. To a sociopathic boss, you are office equipment. A sociopathic boss will work you like a rented mule and then take credit for everything that you do. In contrast, a narcissistic boss may make it impossible for you to do your job. Like Snow White's evil stepmother, narcissists continually asking "Mirror, mirror, on the wall! Who's the fairest of them all?" If you outshine your narcissistic boss in any way, such as by being good at doing your job or even being good-looking, that narcissistic boss will resent you. As a result, you will be targeted for attack. Snow White never saw it coming. But after you read this book, you will understand what you are dealing with!
very informative
As the focus of Laurie's book is a certain notorious character flaw... I was reminded of difficult people in my life... who I now get to think of as... small-time (psychological) thugs. Side-stepping the mistake of trying to psychoanalyze them, with Laurie's help, I can now decode many of their tactics... and deal with their games... way better.
So... Laurie's book is empowerment with ammo... a one-way mirror, silver-coated rubber bullets,and a kevlar vest.
"Don't Feed..." is a remarkable book... insightful, flowing, well-written, and difficult to put down... deserving of a Pulitzer.
If you are about to begin, Don’t Feed the Narcissists!, be prepared to become engrossed in Laurie Thomas’s book that explains narcissism, the education system (and its shortcomings), how to debate, and most importantly how to not look stupid in class, your study group, or other social and academic settings. An important word of caution – bring a highlighter and be prepared to find yourself reading one sentence after another that you will want to remember for later use. Ms. Thomas takes you seamlessly between such disparate subjects as psychology, debate, Max Weber’s three P’s (Property, Prestige, Power), shame, and the philosophy of Aristotle. I enjoy her clean style of writing and her far ranging intellect. I especially enjoy the manner in which she weaves these subjects together to make her case that the narcissist has an overblown self-image that is not consistent with the level of esteem hold for the narcissist. If you are a parent of a narcissistic child/teen, or (God forbid) a codependent in a relationship with a narcissist, you should read this book. If you find yourself in a dysfunctional work environment, you will be encouraged to find the strength to not serve a bad leader, or pledge allegiance to the wrong sort of person. I hated coming to the end of the book, and I recommend it to you.
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